dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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