Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
