just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize