if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
