She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
the raccoons are back...
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