Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
