How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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