He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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