last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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