My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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