The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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