I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
