Your tits are I can't wait for
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
