I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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