You work out of a Hotel?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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