Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
