and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
