2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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