Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
