Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
