Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
