Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
