laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize