The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
