What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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