IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think I sprained my soul last night
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
