Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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