Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
