he puts the penis in happiness.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
