In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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