hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
