just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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