I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
