I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
