so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
