How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
