I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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