I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
