i think my tv is drunk
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
