The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
A bitchslap is in order.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
