Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
