it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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