was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
