he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize