I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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