I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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