Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
false alarm, still single
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize