She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
