Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
