we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize