i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
