Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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