vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
