I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
