I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize