You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
