please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
