so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
