Whatcha textin bout Willis?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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