She's JV to your varsity
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize