matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
