Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
