He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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