I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
