Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I am mentally ready for anal.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
