I'm drive I can fine osifer
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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