If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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