when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
