If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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