im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
