i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Four minutes until I can fart!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
